Wednesday, August 12, 2009

The Chair

When I lived in Quito, I spent a lot of time in this chair. I was usually reading, writing, organizing or watching the BBC's 'Sea of Souls'. If I wasn't out with my friends, I was attacking paper with a vengeance rather uncomfortably in this spot. Saturday afternoons were spent listening to James Blunt while writing away. Afternoons, weekends, nights....

I can't even listen to those cds any more. I can't sit still long enough to capture thoughts in the way I used to. There are many a days I wish I could sit in a chair and try to get it all down on paper.

Friday, August 07, 2009

Hard Lessons

I very much dislike when people say "it's the little things" that matter most. I actually can't stand this concept because I believe IT'S EVERYTHING. Absolutely every little bit including the good, bad, big, small, important, trivial; Every little thing makes up your world and each and every detail matters. From the lunch you eat, the questions you ask or answer, the emails you send, the hugs you give or don't give, to the delete button you accidentally pushed on a file that contained every bit of your written life since you were in high school. The aggregate of events and actions, big or small, is your life. So don't say it's the "little things" because it's EVERYTHING.

If you don't believe me, ask a woman whose husband just died or a child whose parent is no longer on this earth. Big AND little moments matter.

I've learned some hard lessons in the last few weeks because I have not been paying attention. I accidentally deleted a folder with an excel workbook titled "medley of goodness", which included everything I've ever written as well as items from high school I was adding from notebooks I used to write in. It appears the file is unrecoverable. ($45 later) I'm still pondering what to do next. If only I could go back and undelete that action...However, that is not an available option. I was given the advice to save everything in multiple places. That isn't how I roll. So we'll see what is next or what I'll do about my 'medley of goodness' going forward. Important lesson: PAY ATTENTION TO EVERYTHING YOU ARE DOING.

I've also had the sad situation of losing long time family friends to another person. All I can say is daggers. Just plain old medieval English daggers. That is all I have to say about that. Important lesson: LET GO EVEN IF IT HURTS.

I've learned to mind myself with the car as I accidentally left it in power mode overnight and had to jump it. I spent a day learning about Volvo batteries and reading the owner's manual (Yes, I read manuals). Did you know they put batteries in the cargo space in the trunk??? Weird! If only the recycling containers had not stolen my attention... Important lesson: FOCUS ON ONE THING AT A TIME. DON'T BE EASILY DISTRACTED. AND OF COURSE: PAY ATTENTION. Multi-tasking is not your friend. Don't be deceived.

Another hard lesson I learned is what it feels like to be number two. I was warned about this previously but hadn't really thought about it, as the cautioning was a long time ago. Then the thought dawned on me while standing in the kitchen eating a double tomato basil pizza veggie burger. I now have a new understanding of 'best friend'. Important lesson: ACCEPT THINGS FOR WHAT THEY ARE AND FOR WHAT THEY ARE NOT.

I'd write more but I have to go try to buy a mini book from Elise. I missed out last time because I couldn't decide on a book and they were gone before I could get one. Some situations require that you DON'T HESITATE - another lesson.

Now go pay attention to EVERYTHING before the rest of the day is lost.