Saturday, August 30, 2008

In an instant....

Yesterday, I went out to my seamstress' to pick up my bridesmaid dress for Miss Lo's wedding. My unconscious lead me up a familiar street and out of a long dormant habit I turned to look at a house I knew all too well. One of the most amazing women I have ever known was outside tending her garden and in that one instant, I nearly pulled my car over to stop and have a chat with her. The memories came flooding back in spite of the abyss of time that has passed since I last saw her. I could have stopped and she would have given me a warm greeting and invited me to drink a glass of iced tea on the porch where many conversations had already passed between us. She would have read most of the articles about my time in Ecuador, which were published in the newspaper, and she would have asked all the right questions. I would have told her about my experience and how it's been since I've returned. Once I was finished, she would have given insightful wisdom for the future, a boost of much needed motivation, and a side of compassion for my self esteem. We would have chatted about her and what her family has been doing; how time has flown by...

In the instant I saw the little lady in her garden, I thought of the time she sat with me on my front steps trying to console me after she just came back from Connecticut. And how she helped me acquire my first automobile. The snippets of countless holidays and parties I attended with her and her family danced and flickered across my mind. I could picture nearly every inch of her home and how she probably still put the vitamins in little cups on the counter and had blueberries in a strainer. Our trip through New England to look at colleges, all the lovely gifts and useful words of advice & solace washed up out of nowhere onto the beach in my mind right next to the other lost memories. Of all the people I've known, she will always stand out as one of the most amazing, supportive, and influential.

I often wonder if the people for which we are the most tremendously grateful ever really know exactly how much because I find it almost impossible to convey the emotion appropriately, especially with this woman. Words often fail and gifts are never quite good enough for some individuals.

The thought waves washing over my shore lasted for only a few seconds before I passed her home. I know I could have stopped and it would have been a wonderful afternoon, but I didn't. I kept on driving because that was another time and another place, which occurred light years ago...

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