Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Saturday, February 23, 2008
Monday, February 18, 2008
Saturday, February 16, 2008
At the end of the movie, none other than my favorite John Mayer has a song and I thought it was very pertinent to my life now so without permission, the song is
"Say what you need to say
Take all of your wasted honor.
Every little past frustration.
Take all of your so called problems,
Better put 'em in quotations.
Say what you need to say
Walkin' like a one man army,
Fightin' with the shadows in your head.
Livin' up the same old moment
Knowin' you'd be better off instead
If you could only...Say what you need to say
Have no fear for givin' in.
Have no fear for giving over.
You better know that in the end
It's better to say too much, than never to say what you need to say again.
Even if your hands are shaking,
And your faith is broken.
Even as the eyes are closin',
Do it with a heart wide open.
Say what you need to say
Say what you need to, Say what you need to..."
I look forward to buying the cd when I get home.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Here they are and yes they all pertain to food and drink:
1. Wild Cherry M & Ms. Apparently they are limited edition until April. Any size bag will do. I just want to try them because I heart cherries so much.
2. Cherry Chocolate Diet Dr. Pepper. I believe Whit took care of this but a few more cans will not hurt me. Again, I heart cherries and just want to try it. This is also on the shelf for a short time.
3. Girl Scout cookies. I do not discriminate my friends so please oh please take pity on my plight and load your freezer with a few boxes of deliciousness. I will love you forever.
4. Rachael Ray Magazines from now until June. I know, I know.
5. Red hots. Yum. The only thing better than cherries is cinnamon.
6. Candy hearts. Like the little conversation hearts. Big or small doesn't matter.
I am sure I will add more when Easter rolls around and I cannot buy Cadbury Eggs.
That is all I can think of for now. I truly feel a little out of touch with things there. I only get to read news on the Internet and to watch the Hong Kong British version of CNN. Therefore, I really have no idea what else I am missing out on. Feel free to inform me. I miss you guys and love you dearly.
Muchias gracias por todo!!!
Sunday, February 10, 2008
The author is Ivan Illich and it is about Americans helping abroad in poor Latin American countries.... I cannot say I disgree with him but it still does not sit so well.
Take a look ...
Read their Story
Support their cause
Saturday, February 09, 2008
Saturday, February 02, 2008
I haven't written in awhile because I think I am depressed. I am not really sure what that is because I have never experienced it before so this is kind of what I imagine it would be like. I miss the happy Cupcake.
I am tired of getting sick. I am tired of having amoebas (again). I am tired of being scared of food and drinks. I'm tired of not being able to hear out of my left ear and of the headaches I keep getting. I'm tired of being poor. I had more money when I was in high school and just babysitting. I'm tired of the hole in my back molar that is getting bigger. I am tired of not being able to go to the doctor because the Ecuadorian government hasn't paid me in more than TWO MONTHS. I'm tired of having to go to the doctor in the first place. I'm tired of being fat because all I dare eat is chocolate, Doritos, and popcorn. I'm tired of having bad skin. I've never in my life had bad skin before and I have no idea what to do with bad skin. It freaks me out.
I'm tired of being freaking freezing because it won't stop raining. I hate the god damn rain. I'm tired of not being able to wash my clothes because it won't stop raining. I'm tired of everything being damp and of all the holes in my clothes because of the crappy water and the sun I haven't seen in weeks. I am tired of my wardrobe and the shitty umbrellas and pens that only last a few months. I am tired of the terrible notebooks and poor quality paper.
I'm tired of sleeping on a quarter inch "mattress" that sits on wooden slates, which is like sleeping directly on those wooden slates. I am tired of not being able to fall asleep and of not wanting to leave my house. I'm tired of not being able to do things or buy things and for waiting for my pay check, and I am really tired of fighting with our institution about striking and the money they owe us. I am tired of people speaking Spanish in English class and of being in a country "to help" when they don't even want us here.
I am tired of rice and chicken and of dumping gross hot milk down the drain in the morning. I'm tired of not having a good breakfast and of feeling dirty all the time. I am tired of the sucky shower and of not being able to join a dojo. I am tired of missing the people I love and not being able to talk to them. I'm tired of always getting ripped off and of being judged. I am tired of grouchy people and of my host sisters always fighting and whining. I am especially tired of being woken up at 6:30 a.m. on weekends and of eating dinner at 10 p.m. I'm tired of getting up at 5:30 a.m. and of studying Spanish but still sucking at it. I am tired of not being able to buy English books or magazines.
I am extremely tired of feeling like ping pong is being played in my gut and of people not writing me back. I'm tired of my phone never ringing and of needing a haircut but not being able to get one. I am tired of wearing gloves and two pairs of socks to bed. I am tired of not being hugged in months. I am tired of gross men saying stupid things to me and blowing kisses at me in the streets. I'm tired of people asking me why I don't have a boyfriend or why I am not married or what my religion is. I'm tired of paying $1 an hour for the internet and of not having my computer. I am tired of waiting and of not having a bathtub. I am tired of being alone and of bad beer and not having the things I am use to or not being able to do the things I used to do.
I'm tired of my feet being dirty and cold and of not being able to wear flip flops. I'm tired of having to watch my bag all the time and of having to be home by 9 p.m. and of always having to watch myself to avoid getting robbed. I'm tired of depressing people, crowded buses, and the word "siga". I hate my shitty pillow. I am tired of not making a difference and of people not caring. I am tired of the bullshit. Most of all, I am tired of
I would like a real hug from someone who loves me. I would like clean clothes and pants without holes in them. I want new underwear. I would like clean vegetables and a long hot bath. I would like a massage and a nice workout at my dojo. I would like to be amoeba free and healthy. I would like to feel warm. I would like to sit in a bookstore with a hot apple cider and to peruse the new releases. I would like to volunteer somewhere I actually make a difference. I would like to drink gin & grapefruit juice, watch TV, and make dinner with my friends. I would like to drive around listening to music with the heat on full blast. I would like to drink some decent beer and to eat a blueberry muffin. I would like to open box 10598 and find good magazines to read. I would like to eat popcorn and drink good wine. I would like to talk on the phone any time I want.
Most of all, I want to feel like this year wasn't a waste.
Five months down, five more to go....