Thursday, June 14, 2007

Howdy, Neighbor...

Coincidence? Just call me the Queen. Seriously, this is not a joke. I'm having anxiety about it. Here is the story...

In April, we had a great deal of rain that caused flooding and a horrible mess on our first floor. The carpet was soggy, moldy, and disgusting. Of course the landlord, being the genius he is, did nothing to remedy the problem. Fast forward eight weeks and this is what we still have:

only worse because he came by yesterday to tear out the heating unit on the floorboard and threw the carpet back. (At least he cleaned up the water.) I keep insisting BigStar withhold the rent, but she won't for some very strange and bizarre reason I cannot understand. Anyway, Lindsay saw the disaster and insisted we move immediately for fear of the mold factor on the carpet and in the walls. I realized she was probably right. She offered for me to go stay with her and Andrew, which I graciously accepted. Since then, I have been working on the logistics of when would be best to put all my crap into storage and what I will need for the next couple of months. While I was contemplating the details of my move, Lindsay and Andrew got a new apartment on the other side of town. I helped them move in on June first. Unfortunately, I was already familiar with the neighborhood and particularly her neighbor to the right. As it turns out, Lindsay's porch and kitchen window directly face none other than Mr. Houdini's bedroom. I almost died. Um.. do you guys think you could have picked a worse apartment into which to move as soon as you acquire me as a roomie? I would have moved in with them sooner, but for the last 13 days I have been contemplating whether or not I want to put myself in the position of watching him enter his house with another girl, which happened last Wednesday. So, I stay where I am only to endure the mold or do I move in with one of my favorite couples who live next door to the most awful person I know? People, I could throw a microwave at his window it's that close. It makes me very uncomfortable... what to do...what to do...Why does stuff like this always happen to me?

Mold or Mr. Houdini...This is hard.


Shesabigstar said...

We have no evidence of mold. Yes, it's a real possibility...but this is where we differ...I DO NOT BELIEVE there is any mold. My vote is you stay, but that's just my humble opinion.

Seriously, you want to pack and move, only to do it again in 2 months?

I'm sure Lindsey & Andrew would be great roomies, but can you seriously imagine not having each other every night?

Maybe we should start the nightly drinking binges again...would that make you stay? Cause I'm willing to do that if that's what it takes.

cupcake said...

Um, there is mold. It doesn't take much for it to grow: damp, wet, and dark places. Check, Check, and Check. The constant stream of water, lack of air, and the smell of something foul are enough to convince me.

It makes me sad but I fear it is the best option: No mold, save $1,000 and Lindz & Andrew.

Sad parts: no you, have to move now, and of course mr. houdini (I hope to god he's moving) oh and no you or the muchachos.

This toxic black mold thing scares me.

Allie said...


Ross Douglas said...

I would like to offer you temporary residence at Casa Douglas. It's not much but it'll put a hell of a lot of distance between yourself and Mr Houdini. (Who, the more I read about, seems to be an absolute fucking mug.)

cupcake said...

Dearest Ross,

Why thank you very much! I would love to come to Scotland but I have decided to remain where I am. I prefer BigStar to Houdini and while I do love Linz and Andrew, it just makes it easier if I stay where I am. It's only for 9 more weeks anyway.

Shesabigstar said...

That is the BEST description of Mr. Houdini that I've ever heard! Love it!

Ross Douglas said...

You are more than welcome to come visit the land of Haggis, wonderful scenery and the original McDonalds. (From which I am decended.)

That's mild compared to the bile I spat at my computer when I read everything that Cupcake wrote about Mr Houdini. If you'd like to see some of the racier ones let me know and I'll chuck em up for you.

Cupcake & Bigstar,
Hope you're both well and that the forces of evil get distracted on the way to your house.

Allie said...

Now that you've decided to stay it made me think of something. It's pretty bad when even mold wins out over Mr. Houdini.