Friday, March 16, 2007

Dear Mr. John Mayer...

(courtesy of

I would like to take this moment to publicly announce I am not OK with John Mayer's fling with Jessica Simpson (and I'm a fan of hers). Here's my letter to him stating so:

Dear Mr. John Mayer,

Please, please John, tell us all it's a joke and you're only doing it for fun for a short time. Seriously, have you heard any of Ms. Simpson's songs or read her lyrics? While she does provide quality entertainment on very lame and superficial MTV programs, she brings nothing to the table otherwise. Come on, do your fans a favor and focus on a more meaningful relationship. Go back, read your lyrics, listen to your own music, find some inspiration in the fact that you deserve better than a fake blonde who unabashedly continues to promote the "dumb blonde" stereotype. You haven't updated your blog in weeks. If this is how it's going to be, I'm revolting and plan to take as many other fans as I can on this crusade. She's not worthy!! Get past the boobs, for Christ sake. This is not ok!! Not at all. I can't even bring myself to listen to your music anymore because I fear your image is a little bit tarnished. I thought you were above all the celebrity bullshit. This is ridiculous. If you don't clean up your act soon, I'll be forced to cheat on you with another man. So quit "slow dancing in a burning room" and get back to business. FIND A REAL WOMAN AND WRITE SOMETHING MEANINGFUL ON YOUR BLOG!!! God, you're killing us out here.

I'm certain these words would ring a bell. I thought you could use a little reminding:

"I sleep with this new girl I'm still getting used to
my friends all approve, say she's gonna be good for you
they throw me, high fives...

She says the bible is all that she reads
and prefers that I not use profanity...

Life of the party
and she swears that she's artsy...

she's perfect, so flawless
or so they say, say...

She thinks I can't see the smile that she's fakin'
and poses for pictures that aren't being taken..."

Get the hint?


~ Miss Cupcake

Phew, glad that is off my chest. Also, I'd like for all my lovely and wonderful friends to stop sending me links to articles about this awful relationship. I can't take it anymore!


Shesabigstar said...

Fine, the articles and pictures will stop, however..........I am not ok with your comments about Ms. Simpson.

As a fellow 'fake blonde' with 'big boobs' I think I may have taken offense.

And, Nick and Jess's Newlyweds has to be my favorite MTV show of all time.

I will agree with you on one thing...her and Mr. Mayer need to split because her and Nick MUST get back together. He adored her.

I remember the moment like it was yesterday...I was standing in my living room getting the kids ready to head to Thanksgiving dinner with the family...the Today show was on in the background...and they broke the news...and yes, broke my heart. I should have known at that moment that if Nick and Jess couldnt' survive, surely my own marriage was doomed.....

cupcake said...

I think you need to read that book, "The Four Agreements" in which the author states as rule number 2 I believe: TAKE NOTHING PERSONALLY.

I will agree with you about Nick and Jessica. He's the only man alive who could probably put up with the woman who thought Tuna was Chicken.

Shesabigstar said...

A simple mistake considering the brand of the TUNA FISH is CHICKEN Of The Sea. It could just as easily have been chicken. You're striking a nerve here...Jessica is my friend.

I feel that this comments section may just get as much attention as the Diego Luna post.