Thursday, February 08, 2007

On a more postitive note

If you read yesterday's post, this pertains to you. If not, well go back and read about Friday night because I added a paragraph about how awesome Lindsay is.

I posted about the "blog stalker" because this is my space. It's my corner of the world. It's one of the few places I have the opportunity in my busy and very analytical life to be expressive and creative. I was exceptionally annoyed someone (about whom I already had my suspicions) was checking INCESSANTLY. When an individual does that, it skews the statistics for your website, which are important to bloggers and other internet people. We all know how much I love numbers.

This morning, I sat down to read the many responses to what I had written (thank you for your support my friends). I respect each and every one of your opinions as well as your right to express them (YAY First Amendment!). The only thing I could think of in response to the wildly overzealous reaction was I'm not that person anymore. I never was the person my former college friends thought I was. Everyone has emotional wounds and baggage. Sometimes people even have the need to spew their poison onto other people. I do not have that need. I no longer belong to a group of toxic friends. I've become more selective about the company I keep because I never want to get caught up in the same negative energy I felt during those times. I've kept half the circle and I love those girls dearly. Their friendships have been fundamental to who I am today, especially Kristin, Bethy, Johanna, Theresa, and Mariana. You are very important to me. I plan to keep you in my garden for as long as I can. I also plan to have chairs for you in The Porch Club, whether you need them or not.

In addition to friends from those "crazy college years," I've had the amazing opportunity to cultivate many rich and rewarding relationships with a variety of people. I've evolved as a person. When I was in the eye of the hurricane, I knew I needed to change the direction of the storm but could not articulate exactly what needed to be changed until I had a conversation with one of the girls who had removed herself from the situation. She said it was amazing how much we all fed off each other and once you are out of the environment that breeds the destructive activity, your life changes dramatically. She shed light on something I could not. As a result, my life is better. I am a better person. I truly am lucky and blessed to live the life I gratefully have. Not for one second do I take advantage of this nor should you.

All I can say is I hope you have evolved, too. I hope you are not the same person you were then. I hope you've had opportunities to become a better person and to grow in a positive and helpful way. I'm flattered you find entertainment here, and thanks for stopping by. I sincerely hope your life is as rewarding and enriching as mine, and maybe one day you will have a little corner of the world where you can write about it as well. Genuinely, I wish you well.

Now let's get back to business people, there is plenty to do and share!

P.S. I just blocked the IP address of "BS" so it doesn't skew my numbers anymore. So visit away! Always feel free to comment, too. I encourage expressing your opinions and using your rights.

1 comment:

HM said...

cupcake,
your post this morning was very nice, and while i promised myself i would not post on this blog again...here goes:

i am glad that you have changed from the "crazy college years." based on the people i have seen since that time...everyone pretty much has. which is a good thing becuase if we had all remained as we were at 22, 23, etc., i fear out lives would be pretty uninteresting now.

i am glad that you have kept half of that circle of friends. your list contained the names of very nice girls. however, keep in mind that the relationship we had was ended solely by you. you chose to believe something that was false, acted on it, and then had to deal with the consequence of that action. i hope that doesn't come of as angry...that is not my intention, and sometimes communication like this can skew the emotion in words.

i wish you well too...i hope all the plans you have for yourself come to fruition: that you get to travel the places you desire, that you find the job that no longer seems like "work", and that you find a "worthy opponent" in the realm of male-female relationships.

and just on a side note...i no longer live in horsham, pa. i have been in an apartment in the city for the past 2 years. this august it will be three years that i have lived on my own. so the person who was checking the blog that often was not even me. i am sure you can figure out who it was...and i think that in light of all the kindness that that person and his significant other showed you while you lived in Pennsylvania, you would forgive him this one transgression.