Friday, November 17, 2006

Did I miss something?

I know my sister's dealings with men are not normal, but since we share a gene pool, I am beginning to wonder if maybe I missed something growing up....

For as long as I can remember, I have always thought of mi hermana as "Helen of Troy". Once I uttered this label out loud, it stuck like glue, and Sunshine has lived up to the title ever since. It became a running family joke, which extended far beyond the walls of our house. In high school, males of all ages came to seek her attention. I never minded being the reference desk or the lead guide in their efforts so long as their intentions were good. Contrary to what most people think of me, I spent the majority of my adolescence in a book, on a court, at friends' houses planning my entrance into academia and avoiding the clich├ęd high school rituals, or at home playing pool & scrabble with my dad. I was quiet, private, and stuck to my very intimate circle of friends. I was more than happy to watch the circus than actually have to participate. Then, I went off to college...

I never really thought much about the attention men lavished upon my sister until she came to visit me at Villanova. Her entrance onto the drama queen's scene in Bryn Mawr caused such a stir, people are still talking about it. This is when it really hit me. I was use to people asking about her and kindly telling them to get in line, however, I was not use to having boys who supposedly were pursuing my friends complete an about face in my sister's direction. A little awkward, yet manageable. At this point, I began paying a little more attention to "Helen of Troy's" love life. I was astonished by my findings... Not only has she been rescued from the depths of living hell, but she's received numerous gifts, which are lavished unsolicited with alarming regularity, and she actually goes on dates, like real ones. Here's where you can picture me scratching my head...People outside of Hollywood go on dates? Seriously? Let me provide some awe inspiring examples of the gallantry she received this past year alone: a male friend took a day off from work to drive Kristen from New York City to Maine, another boy drove to Maine from New Hampshire to bring her a brand new DVD player with three entire seasons of "Lost" because she happened to mention she loved the show, oh and a fan to help fend off the summer heat while delighting in her new gift. Another gentleman drove to her house in Maine from god knows where to celebrate her birthday with her. Then there's the boy who bought her a car - yup a real live adult car and not a matchbox replica. Let's not forget the one who bought her a bed, sheets, and a hypo-allergenic pillow with a matching pillow case - she has allergies. Ah, and the weekly phone calls from boys from long ago feeling regretful, rejected, or brave calling to profess their undying love. Two pet kittens also made their way into her life as cuddly gifts... I could go on, but I gather you get the point. I mentioned these events are just the ones occurring this year, right? I have failed to point out the best part about all of this: she doesn't even give most of these boys the time of day. Yes, you read correctly. For the most part, their efforts are in vain because she's got exceptionally high standards (rightfully so), which rule out 99% of the suitors. I'm sure she doesn't even tell people the half of it out of politeness to us mortal girls and because she's quite modest about her striking model looks.

Now having described a small snippet of her romantic life, can some one please explain this to me? I don't get it....How does she do it? Boys do this? I do not know another female who experiences these same events in the magnitude or multitude my sister does. Is there some magic skill to which I am not privy? Did my mom or aunts give a lesson on feminine powers of persuasion I must have missed? I never received that memo but then again, maybe I should have ventured away from my reading spot and the scrabble board... If you ask her about it, she just shrugs giving a typical "I don't know" response. Upon hearing the tales, my mom smiles in delight and my father just shakes his head and mutters, "those poor suckers." Meanwhile, I have to think of clever ways to tell the elderly African-American fedora wearing man at the post office I am sorry I don't drink coffee and you're really not my type seeing as though you are AT LEAST 25 years older than me. I am just baffled...Is there something some one isn't telling me? I MUST have missed something.

It probably does not help that boys scare me and I often dance around the subject or avoid them entirely-with good reason I firmly believe. However, in fairness to my observation, she is a model and we are complete opposites, but still, hello, the same gene pool should count for something?!? Right? No??? Shrugging, at least I tried. In awe, I guess I'll just have to sit back, watch, and learn.

Ummm, Yeah

1 comment:

cupcake said...

on second thought, i think i'm quite happy just being miss rachael.